
Friday, November 17, 2006
Wolverine

Chamberlane Show !!

30 Second Theatre
This is one of the most amusing things I've seen in a while, and I feel the world should be more aware of this as well... check it out all :)
http://www.angryalien.com/
http://www.angryalien.com/
You know you were wondering... .

1. What is your occupation? Skivvie Dealer
2. What color are your socks right now? My PacMan socks
3. What are you listening to right now ? 100 ways by Porno for Pyros
4. What was the last thing that you ate? taters
5. can you drive a stick shift? sorta... kinda the "can't find them, grind them" thing...
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Today... Burnt Sienna... very burnt
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Headly... He was looking for Brett
8. How old are you today? 28
9. Favorite color? blue
10. Favorite drink: alcholic... vodka w/ 7up and pineapple juice, non - A&W rootbeer
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Skateboarding... that's a sport now right?
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Many times... had it every color, from blue to blonde
13. Pets? Hendrix the cat and Span the fish *Spick didnt' make it*
14. Favorite Food.- Natchos w/ all the fixins
15. What was the last movie you watched? Not sure...
16. Favorite day of the year? August 7th *b-day* or August 28th *anniversary*
17. What do you do to vent anger? rant a bit... sometimes throw things.. depending on how pissed I am...
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Legos
20. Hugs or kisses? Both
21. Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry
22. Living arrangements? Apartment
23. When was the last time you cried? Not sure
24. What time is it? 7:04 pm
25. What is on the floor of your closet? Slippers and purses
26. What did you do last night? worked, then drank w/ Taradise and went to Hunter's to see Choxx Burlington
27. Favorite smell? satsuma or patchoulli
28. What inspires you? Courage and determination in people
29. What are you afraid of? Sharks
30. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? The cheezier the better
31. Favorite car? Corvettes
32. Number of keys on your key ring? 6... I think
33. How many years at your current job? about 2 months or so now...
34. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
39. How many provinces/states have you lived in? 2, PEI and Nova Scotia
A Newfie's Love Poem

Of course I love ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No woman who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I'm tellin ya the truth no
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me grannies grave now
The moment that we met
I thought u was as good as
I Was ever gonna get
No matter wot u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the hockey's on
And fetch another beer
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Niiiiiice....

Tommy Lee ... lookin' hot as fuck.... as par usual...
compliments of the Supernova MySpace... Thanks boys!
Coolest sidewalk chalk art ever!!!

This guy is fucking amazing... He does all this
on the sidewalk using just sidewalk chalk.
Fucking cool.
And they get full benefits too...
Could you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
- 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
- 7 have been arrested for fraud
- 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
- 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
- 3 have done time for assault
- 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
- 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
- 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
- 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
So... take a wild guess which organization this is?? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress...The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the almight States in line... Interesting.. Very interesting....
- 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
- 7 have been arrested for fraud
- 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
- 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
- 3 have done time for assault
- 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
- 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
- 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
- 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
So... take a wild guess which organization this is?? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress...The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the almight States in line... Interesting.. Very interesting....
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
WTF... Justin Timberlake???
So... I can't fucking believe that it's November now... just a random thought.
K, so a couple of things, I was just checking out myspace and I was completely thrown when I noticed that I had a new add to my friends requests. Low and behold it's Justin Timberlake. Throw a gal for a fucking loop or what. Pretty cool though, given if it was 5 odd years ago and he was still doing the ol boyband shite, hello delete. but , well, he's kinda cool now. Show's he's got some talent anyhow. His tunes make ya groove, what can I say. lol. I guess he's bringing myspace back... yeah! ... sorry... Couldn't resist :P
Secondly ... after that I was checking out Taradise's blog (www.welcome2taradise.blogspot.com) and she had posted a clip of JD Fortune essentially fucking the mic stand at one the the INXS shows. Holy fucking hot. I actually left a comment ... something along the lines of ... fucking hot... need a cigarette after that... heh heh heh. (ladies... I recommend checking that out... )
SOoo... anyhoo... Im finally starting to kick this whore of a cold I've been fighting. Quite proud of myself... no drinking or partying... just healing. Quite off the norm I'd say... but trying to heal the ol temple. Eventually you have to cave... well when your body's saying "fuck you... you need rest... and Buckley's" heh.
Well, that's all for this evening... gotta get some sleep. Work at 8am comes pretty fuckin early. Argh. Till next time bitches. -Moi
K, so a couple of things, I was just checking out myspace and I was completely thrown when I noticed that I had a new add to my friends requests. Low and behold it's Justin Timberlake. Throw a gal for a fucking loop or what. Pretty cool though, given if it was 5 odd years ago and he was still doing the ol boyband shite, hello delete. but , well, he's kinda cool now. Show's he's got some talent anyhow. His tunes make ya groove, what can I say. lol. I guess he's bringing myspace back... yeah! ... sorry... Couldn't resist :P
Secondly ... after that I was checking out Taradise's blog (www.welcome2taradise.blogspot.com) and she had posted a clip of JD Fortune essentially fucking the mic stand at one the the INXS shows. Holy fucking hot. I actually left a comment ... something along the lines of ... fucking hot... need a cigarette after that... heh heh heh. (ladies... I recommend checking that out... )
SOoo... anyhoo... Im finally starting to kick this whore of a cold I've been fighting. Quite proud of myself... no drinking or partying... just healing. Quite off the norm I'd say... but trying to heal the ol temple. Eventually you have to cave... well when your body's saying "fuck you... you need rest... and Buckley's" heh.
Well, that's all for this evening... gotta get some sleep. Work at 8am comes pretty fuckin early. Argh. Till next time bitches. -Moi
Monday, November 06, 2006
AHHHHHHHHHHH CHHHHOOOOOO!
Hey all... So I'm still suffering with the Cold from Hell. Totally fucking sucks. I feel like some one tossed a couple of lit matches in each of my lungs. Oh, yea... that good... argh... I am having time to do some blogging/myspace searching though. Lots o' fun. Added a bunch of new ppl on myspace... hopefully they will accept my invites...
Sooo... Yeah... I'm losing my fucking mind. If I sneeze one more time, there is fear that my nose may actually projectile across the room. Yea, you may laugh at this concept.. or cringe for that matter... sorry for you sensitive people out there. AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Scuse me...
ANyhoO..... Found some new pics... The ones that I'm totally enthralled with are by an artist named Jason Rudolphpena... His stuff is absolutely incredible. FYI people... check this guy's stuff out... Blew my mind. I'll post a pic that I snagged off his myspace.
Right on bitches... Till I sneeze again... Lata
Sooo... Yeah... I'm losing my fucking mind. If I sneeze one more time, there is fear that my nose may actually projectile across the room. Yea, you may laugh at this concept.. or cringe for that matter... sorry for you sensitive people out there. AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Scuse me...
ANyhoO..... Found some new pics... The ones that I'm totally enthralled with are by an artist named Jason Rudolphpena... His stuff is absolutely incredible. FYI people... check this guy's stuff out... Blew my mind. I'll post a pic that I snagged off his myspace.
Right on bitches... Till I sneeze again... Lata
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Holy Clusterfuckedness Batman...
So yeah... I feel like a bag of shite today.... Long story short, Drank a lot last night, smoked too much... Ate Macdonald's at 4am ... didn't get to bed till 4:30 am... Had to work at 9 this morning.... Training my staff. All I have to say is ... thank fuck for tea... and water. Oh yes... and on top of this I have a cold. What can I say I'm a sucker for punishment. Had fun though :) May as well live and have a good time while we're here right?? I think so :D I feel like a space cowboy today though... Thoughts are random and not sticking around for any extended period of time... lol. Hey, at least I can laugh at myself eh? Anyhoo... So, We are now able to , well in the know how to I suppose, transfer pics from the camera to the computer now. Which is cool, cause, for any ppl that know me, I'm picture crazy. FUCKIN LOVE 'EM!!! So, YAY!! hehehehh
Well... Livin' the wild life today... Must go flip the laundry, then I'll be back to post some pics. Right on.... Till next time bitches...
Well... Livin' the wild life today... Must go flip the laundry, then I'll be back to post some pics. Right on.... Till next time bitches...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
ScArY Joke of the day...
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears: BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind himFASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and.... The coffin stops (Enter Groan here )
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and.... The coffin stops (Enter Groan here )
Weird Things You May Need To Know Someday...
- Butterflies taste with their feet
- A duck's quack doesn't echo
- In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined
- On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year
- On average people fear spiders more than they do death
- Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants
- Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married
- Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
- Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older
- It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs
- Women blink nearly twice as much as men
- It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow
- A snail can sleep for three years
- No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH"
- The Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
- Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
- The electric chair was invented by a dentist
- All polar bears are left-handed
- In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard
- "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
- If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33 and she would stand seven feet, two inches tall
- A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match
- Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
- A duck's quack doesn't echo
- In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined
- On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year
- On average people fear spiders more than they do death
- Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants
- Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married
- Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
- Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older
- It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs
- Women blink nearly twice as much as men
- It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow
- A snail can sleep for three years
- No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH"
- The Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
- Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
- The electric chair was invented by a dentist
- All polar bears are left-handed
- In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard
- "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
- If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33 and she would stand seven feet, two inches tall
- A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match
- Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Happy Humpday !
Well.. It's Wednesday... Or humpday as some call it... I was supposed to be off work today, but the boss called this morning, at the ripe ol hour of 9am... and I'm going to pick up a few hours tonight. Still lovin the new job though... The life of a lingerie saleslady.. ahh... the hard life ... heheh.
Sooo... I'm getting aquainted with the myspace thing. I like the blog here better though, as I find it more user friendly.... and being not quite techish ... it works for me :) I like that you can add rock stars and what not on it though. For instance I added Dave Navarro this morning. How fucking cool is that. It's probably someone he has hired to take care of all that shite for him, seeing as his life would probably be quite hectic. It's still cool though, and the idea of him looking as my myspace is pretty fucking cool. Either way though... cool shite.
Gotta jet... my grumbling tummy tells me it's time for food. Till next time bitches :P
Sooo... I'm getting aquainted with the myspace thing. I like the blog here better though, as I find it more user friendly.... and being not quite techish ... it works for me :) I like that you can add rock stars and what not on it though. For instance I added Dave Navarro this morning. How fucking cool is that. It's probably someone he has hired to take care of all that shite for him, seeing as his life would probably be quite hectic. It's still cool though, and the idea of him looking as my myspace is pretty fucking cool. Either way though... cool shite.
Gotta jet... my grumbling tummy tells me it's time for food. Till next time bitches :P
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Saturday night's alright
Hello all... Just checking the 'ol bloggage (mainly for the curiousity of how many ppl have been visiting > the counter that I put on the bottom of the page... which I am very pleased with myself on setting it up. Figured it out myself!! :D ) Decided to leave a quick note to say hey ... HEY!
Soooo... I'm off tonight.... and tomorrow, which is going to be nice to relax... Lovin the new job, but 4 years of sitting at a desk, and now on my feet all day, makes my feet a wee bit achey. I'll live though... totally worth it in the end, I say. Anyhoo... Gotta jet... Gotta go get ready to go out.
Till next time bitches ;)
-moi
Soooo... I'm off tonight.... and tomorrow, which is going to be nice to relax... Lovin the new job, but 4 years of sitting at a desk, and now on my feet all day, makes my feet a wee bit achey. I'll live though... totally worth it in the end, I say. Anyhoo... Gotta jet... Gotta go get ready to go out.
Till next time bitches ;)
-moi
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Can you say RED!?!?!?!
Well... just killin some time here while the colour sets in my hair. A definate needed adjustment to say the least. And, baby, am I goin' Red :D WOOT!!! Totally missed it, and it's pretty much my signature colour. SOooo.. Can't let the masses down... lol. Well... that's pretty much it for now. More later... skata!
-moi
-moi
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Chicken Strips and Laundry
Only a few moments to blog it up here, chicken strips are cooking and the laundry's almost done. SOooo... I'm totally lovin my new job. All the girls working with me are really nice and the customers are like a billion times better than at the call center. It's crazy what crap I had been putting up with for something like 4 years. No wonder I was on the brink of losing my mind!! Little did I know that sexy skivvies would save my sanity lol. Well, me and Taradise and Angelina went out last night. Lots of drinks and whatnots. Good times. Got home around 4ish. Slept away most of my day today though. Brett's at work now, poor fucker, till close then he's playing w/ Choxx Burlington tonight at Hunter's after music trivia. I think Taradise, Annaconda and I are going to the trivia and show. It's music trivia, and it's pretty fun. Gonna go easy on the drinking though. I figure my liver will thank me tomorrow. lol. Anyhoo... Laundry's done and so are the chicken strips. Yummy! Till next time.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Check it out....
Hey artsy people out there... check out this site... http://www.jacksonpollock.org/ totally fun... and a little theraputic to boot. FYI: click your mouse to change the color :D Enjoy!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Getting to know me... getting to know all about me....
1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:51 am... had to be at work for 8am
2. Diamonds or Pearls? both
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I don't even remember... it's been that long.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Any of the CSI's or Desperate House Wives
5. What did you have for breakfast? a cereal bar
6. What is your middle name? Abby
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican food
8. What food do you dislike? Brussel Sprouts and olives
9. What is your favorite potato chip? Zesty Cheese Doritos... I LOVE fake cheese YUMMM
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking - Roger Waters
11. What kind of car do you drive? 97 Grand am
13. What characteristics do you despise? Snotty ppl and ppl with bad b.o.
14. What are your favorite clothes? My recently retired jeans and a tshirt
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? amsterdam
16. What color is your bathroom?Ugly 70s yellow
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Calvin Klein or Louis Vuitton
18. Where would you want to retire? Not sure...
19. Favorite time of day? Evening
20. Where were you born? Antigonish
21. Favorite sport to watch? Skateboarding/Skiing/Gymnastics
22. Coke or Pepsi? Vanilla Coke... I think this was in the other survey on here lol
23. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night owl
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Started my new job Today!!
25. What did you want to be when you were little? You name it... couldn't make up my mind
26. What is your best childhood memory? Going on family camping trips
27. What are the different jobs you have had in your life: Movie Theatre, Sweet Factory, Tim Hortons, Call Center... bah
28. Nicknames: Ab, Abster, Abbarooo
29. Number and location of piercing? Belly button, 3 in right ear, 2 in the other
30. Eye Color? dark blue
31. Ever been to Africa? no
32. Ever been toilet papering? sorta
33. Been in a car accident? yes... on my 1st driver's test... don't ask
34. Favorite day of the week? sundays
35. Favorite restaurant? The Ponderosa... fucking wicked amazing salad bar all you can eat shrimp!! YUMMMMMMMMMM
36. Favorite flower? daisies
37. Favorite ice cream? Black Raspberry Cheesecake
38. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell... Heart stopping Good!!
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Louis Vuitton
40. What time do you go to bed? any time between 12 and 6
41. Who was the last person you went to dinner with? Brett ...last night at DQ
42. What are you listening to right now? Tommy Lee
43. How many tattoos do you have? 2... for now...
44. Who was the last e-mail from before you got this one? Jacqueline... she sent me this survey
45. What is your favorite color? blue... or black
46. What time did you finish this survey? 8:08 pm
2. Diamonds or Pearls? both
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I don't even remember... it's been that long.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Any of the CSI's or Desperate House Wives
5. What did you have for breakfast? a cereal bar
6. What is your middle name? Abby
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican food
8. What food do you dislike? Brussel Sprouts and olives
9. What is your favorite potato chip? Zesty Cheese Doritos... I LOVE fake cheese YUMMM
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking - Roger Waters
11. What kind of car do you drive? 97 Grand am
13. What characteristics do you despise? Snotty ppl and ppl with bad b.o.
14. What are your favorite clothes? My recently retired jeans and a tshirt
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? amsterdam
16. What color is your bathroom?Ugly 70s yellow
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Calvin Klein or Louis Vuitton
18. Where would you want to retire? Not sure...
19. Favorite time of day? Evening
20. Where were you born? Antigonish
21. Favorite sport to watch? Skateboarding/Skiing/Gymnastics
22. Coke or Pepsi? Vanilla Coke... I think this was in the other survey on here lol
23. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night owl
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Started my new job Today!!
25. What did you want to be when you were little? You name it... couldn't make up my mind
26. What is your best childhood memory? Going on family camping trips
27. What are the different jobs you have had in your life: Movie Theatre, Sweet Factory, Tim Hortons, Call Center... bah
28. Nicknames: Ab, Abster, Abbarooo
29. Number and location of piercing? Belly button, 3 in right ear, 2 in the other
30. Eye Color? dark blue
31. Ever been to Africa? no
32. Ever been toilet papering? sorta
33. Been in a car accident? yes... on my 1st driver's test... don't ask
34. Favorite day of the week? sundays
35. Favorite restaurant? The Ponderosa... fucking wicked amazing salad bar all you can eat shrimp!! YUMMMMMMMMMM
36. Favorite flower? daisies
37. Favorite ice cream? Black Raspberry Cheesecake
38. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell... Heart stopping Good!!
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Louis Vuitton
40. What time do you go to bed? any time between 12 and 6
41. Who was the last person you went to dinner with? Brett ...last night at DQ
42. What are you listening to right now? Tommy Lee
43. How many tattoos do you have? 2... for now...
44. Who was the last e-mail from before you got this one? Jacqueline... she sent me this survey
45. What is your favorite color? blue... or black
46. What time did you finish this survey? 8:08 pm
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Little Johnny on Math:
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
Little Johnny on English
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Little Johnny on Grammar
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
Little Johnny on Getting Older
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
Little Johnny on English
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Little Johnny on Grammar
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
Little Johnny on Getting Older
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."
Monday, October 02, 2006
More Celebrity Quotes with Ab
Al Capone: "You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
Ab: I would have to agree... Nothing like a pistol to get the point across.
Rodney Dangerfield: "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
Ab: Ahh... my favorite sport... boxing... with a hint of hockey
Larry Flynt: "That's 'Mr. Smut Peddler' to you!"
Ab: You tell 'em Larry!!
Stephen King: "Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy, in a jar on my desk"
Ab: Terrible person.... no.... Creepy as fuck??? ... um... yeah
Bill Clinton: "I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most... I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it."
Ab: I always guessed it was getting head in the white house that would have been it... Guess I was mistaken...
George Clooney: "Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties."
Ab: I think you'd fit in just fine Georgie... in fact probably too well lol
Macaulay Culkin (on his relationship with Michael Jackson) : "We talk all the time. I think we understand each other in a way that most people can't understand either of us."
Ab: Uh huh.... Too many rebuddles for this one...
Elizabeth Hurley: "I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly i'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me."
Ab: Just shocking... You mean that crappy acting in a Austin Power's movie didn't guarantee her a slot in the British Intelligence Agency?? Nooo.... Reallly??? Shocking... utterly shocking.
Lucy Liu: "Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend."
Ab: One word... Fabreeze
Drew Barrymore (1998) : "If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."
Ab: Ok... Now, I love my cat, I really do... but the idea of feeding my cat my remains... well.... that's just nasty.
Decca Records (Rejecting the Beatles in 1962) : "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
Ab: How do you say.... "BIG MISTAKE!!"
George W. Bush (when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London) : "It is white."
Ab: His intellect never ceases to amaze me.
Ab: I would have to agree... Nothing like a pistol to get the point across.
Rodney Dangerfield: "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
Ab: Ahh... my favorite sport... boxing... with a hint of hockey
Larry Flynt: "That's 'Mr. Smut Peddler' to you!"
Ab: You tell 'em Larry!!
Stephen King: "Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy, in a jar on my desk"
Ab: Terrible person.... no.... Creepy as fuck??? ... um... yeah
Bill Clinton: "I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most... I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it."
Ab: I always guessed it was getting head in the white house that would have been it... Guess I was mistaken...
George Clooney: "Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties."
Ab: I think you'd fit in just fine Georgie... in fact probably too well lol
Macaulay Culkin (on his relationship with Michael Jackson) : "We talk all the time. I think we understand each other in a way that most people can't understand either of us."
Ab: Uh huh.... Too many rebuddles for this one...
Elizabeth Hurley: "I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly i'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me."
Ab: Just shocking... You mean that crappy acting in a Austin Power's movie didn't guarantee her a slot in the British Intelligence Agency?? Nooo.... Reallly??? Shocking... utterly shocking.
Lucy Liu: "Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend."
Ab: One word... Fabreeze
Drew Barrymore (1998) : "If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."
Ab: Ok... Now, I love my cat, I really do... but the idea of feeding my cat my remains... well.... that's just nasty.
Decca Records (Rejecting the Beatles in 1962) : "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
Ab: How do you say.... "BIG MISTAKE!!"
George W. Bush (when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London) : "It is white."
Ab: His intellect never ceases to amaze me.
Haven't slept in days...
So.... Today was my official last day at my old job. CAN YOU SAY SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! Oh yeah bitches... totally happy :) I start my new job this Thurday. 8 am. Kinda early, but who gives a fuck. Totally new job. Can't fucking wait!! I went and dropped off my stuff at my old job today, and I'd have to say that I am totally not going to miss that place. I will miss the people though.... You know who you are :D 4 years at a place... can definately have you get to know a few people. Some people there I won't miss, but the majority of them I will ...
Well, today is Monday, and I'm glad I'm going to be off the next couple of days. Pretty wild weekend. Between parties and helping Taradise move into her new place, it was a whirlwind. (And, Michelle, if your reading this, sorry about forgetting to call ... ) I ended up having Thurs and Friday of last week off as well as the weekend, and I'd have to say I used up every ounce of my time and I think my weekend started last Wednesday. Definately not enough sleep though.... When I'm dead I say... :P
So... that's all for now.. till next time bitches.
Well, today is Monday, and I'm glad I'm going to be off the next couple of days. Pretty wild weekend. Between parties and helping Taradise move into her new place, it was a whirlwind. (And, Michelle, if your reading this, sorry about forgetting to call ... ) I ended up having Thurs and Friday of last week off as well as the weekend, and I'd have to say I used up every ounce of my time and I think my weekend started last Wednesday. Definately not enough sleep though.... When I'm dead I say... :P
So... that's all for now.. till next time bitches.
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